Thursday, April 30, 2009

Who's Funnier

I was watching movies the other day and began to think about different directors/writers/producers. I began to think about whose movies I liked more, Kevin Smith or Judd Apatow. It is a tough choice between the two, and then I figured that if I was going to compare the two, I better throw in the guy who started it all, John Hughes. So this blog looks at the body of work of the three guys and tries to figure out which is the best.

John Hughes: Anyone my age knows John Hughes movies. Sixteen Candles, Pretty in Pink, The Breakfast Club, Weird Science, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and She's Having a Baby. Still those aren't the only movies that Hughes is responsible for. Planes, Trains & Automobiles, Uncle Buck, The Great Outdoors, Vacation, European Vacation, Christmas Vacation, Home Alone, Career Opportunities, Curly Sue, and Dutch. He hasn't had much success since 1991, but that is one impressive resume.

Kevin Smith: Not as long a resume as Hughes, but just as big of an impact. We all know the big ones, Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, and Dogma. But don't forget about Jay and Slient Bob Strike Back, Jersey Girl, Clerks II, and Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Don't forget though folks, Smith is one of the primary people responsible for Good Will Hunting, so that is a big bonus for him.

Judd Apatow: Currently, Apatow is the best comedic director around. The thing about Apatow is the of the three he has the strongest TV resume (The Larry Sanders Show, Freaks and Geeks and Undeclared) and it isn't that well known, but his movie work dates back to around 1995. His big ones include, The 40 Year Old Virgin, Knocked Up, Walk Hard, and Pineapple Express. Apatow was also a part of Anchorman, Kicking and Screaming, Fun with Dick and Jane, Tallagega Nights, and Superbad. Going back some years, he worked on such films as Celtic Pride, Heavy Weights, and, The Cable Guy.

Results:

Well, I must admit when I started this blog I knew I was going to go with Kevin Smith. Of all the movies above, Mallrats is by far my favorite and Dogma is next. Also, of the three, I grew up more with Smith than the other two, because his movies came at a time when I could appreciate the comedy more. I figured that I would put them in this order, Smith, Hughes, Apatow.

But as I did my research things began to chance. I am seriously impressed with Apatow. I didn't realize all the movies that this guy was involved in. So after doing my research, and even though Mallrats is still my favorite, and this was a shock to me, I have to put the guys in this order:

Judd Apatow
Kevin Smith
John Hughes

Monday, April 27, 2009

Top Ten Non Sporting Sporting Events

In honor of the NFL Draft this past weekend, I decided to follow suit with some other blogs and put together a list of the Top Ten Non Sporting Sporting Events. These are events that focus on sport topics, but there is not actually in physical activity taking place. Things like drafts, selection shows, etc, where teams and leagues make or break themselves, but nobody really breaks a sweat. These are events that confuse your significant other when you say that you are out for the whole day and they ask what game is on and you tell them that it isn’t a game at all you just want to watch people talking.

10. Bud Shootout Selection Show: I love random chance games and this is one of the best. The Bud Shootout doesn’t mean much, but it is the one NASCAR event where every driver has an equal opportunity to start up front. And making the selection out of Bud bottles is pretty cool too.
9. NCAA Selection Show: This is beginning to run a little thin for me, so that is why it is ranked so low. CBS could certainly do a better job. The one thing that keeps is on the list at all is the fact that it leads to everyone filling out their brackets, which is one of the best sports traditions out there.
8. Season Odds Release in Vegas: No matter the sport, it is always very fun to wait for Vegas to release their season odds. You get to see where you team stands in their eyes and if there are any bargains out there to put a few bucks down on.
7. SportsCenter: Possibly the greatest show every created. It is mostly a bunch of people that have never played sports in their lives talking about sports. It is also the one show that for some reason you can watch over and over again in the same day. You watch the 9:00 am SportsCenter and then the 10:00 am SportsCenter, though nothing has changed.
6. NBA Lottery Selection Show: Forget the draft, because the NBA Draft is boring and pointless. There are only two rounds and players drafted in the second round rarely have the chance to make the team. But the selection show is great, because, as most of you know, I really love selections that involve random chance. The Lottery selection show is fun because everyone there has a chance to get the first pick (though not equal) and it is great when someone sneaks in there and gets the first pick and makes there team and immediate contender.
5. NFL Draft: There isn’t another major sport whose draft even comes close to being as exciting as the NFL Draft. First off, it takes up an entire weekend and it is the one draft that truly impacts your team. As a Redskins fan, I have really only gotten to enjoy the draft over the last couple of years because we always like to trade away our picks, but even so, I still watch the draft both days because it is fun and exciting to watch.
4. Release of Madden Football: This is one of the best sports traditions, because it is truly the start of football season. The draft is over with and the teams are pretty much set, so it is time to play some Madden. Every year I say that I won’t get excited, but every year I am waiting in line on the first day to pick it up.
3. The National: This might not matter to some of you, but The National is the largest sports collectables show of the year. This is the place where all card collectors come together and enjoy their addiction. You save you pennies, nickels, and dimes for an entire year to search through a hundred dollar boxes to find a great deal on a Jeff Bagwell jersey, autograph card.
2. MLB Trade Deadline: I love the MLB trade deadline because the Mets are usually involved in a big move, though in Steve Phillips case that was a bad thing. It is just incredible interesting for a baseball fan to watch and read about trade rumors for a week and then wait around all day to see if your team gets better, or if they have given up and are planning for the future.
1. Fantasy Drafts: This is number one for so many reasons, but mainly because it is the one event that guys like me and my friends get to participate in. Fantasy sports make the real life sports so much more interesting and the season is that much more exciting if you have a good draft and put together a good team. I particularly enjoy the fantasy draft order selection show, where you learn what pick you get. Fantasy sports are the best thing to ever happen to sports, so that is what gives this event the top spot, no matter what fantasy sport you are playing.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Tortured by Torture: Book Recommendation

You can turn on the TV today and not hear a story about torture. Since the release of the torture memos that is all the media wants to talk about. And for good reason. It is an important topic that needs to be talked about, but it beginning to get old. It is the same old talking heads giving the same old bullet points.

Now I don't think it would come to anyone's surprise that I am against the use of torture and I am glad that the memos got released. It is important that people understand what is happening and it is also important that we recognize our mistake to the world. Some people won't view are acts of torture as mistakes and that is okay, I can respect that, I just disagree. First off, torture doesn't really work, but more importantly, we can't be a nation that stands up for human rights around the world and punishes countries that don't conform, if we are going around committing acts that are in clear contradiction to human rights laws. There are many arguments against the use of torture that I don't have time to get into, so I must move on.

Anyway, this post isn't for me to rant about my beliefs (too late), it is a book recommendation. I strongly recommend to all of you that you pick up Matthew Alexander's "How to Break a Terrorist: The U.S. Interrogators Who Used Brains, Not Brutality, to Take Down the Deadliest Man in Iraq." This is a story written by the man to go the information that lead to the killing of Abu Musab al Zarqawi. Alexander, which isn't his real name, demonstrates how the use of torture and fear techniques yielded exactly nothing and how he and his team used techniques like building a rapport understanding, and respect to break the one of the greatest criminal rings of our time.

As most of you know this isn't the first time that I have recommended this book, but with the happens of the recent weeks, I think it is important to put it back into the discussion. Whether you think that releasing the torture memos was correct, or even if we should be using torture techniques, this is still an important read. It provides great insight into negotiation strategies, along with demonstrating that even though you might hate the person you are interrogating, it is important to put that aside to get the information you need. It is a quick read and shouldn't take long, so pick it up (or ask me to borrow it) and give it a read.

Also, I would like to recommend my friend's new blog "Who Cares?" It is a fun read and will provide some insight into things that people say and do, that no one else really cares about...http://walksthoughts.blogspot.com/

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

What if I was on trial for murder

I was watching a show the other day about a guy that was on trial for murder and he was being defended by the public defenders. Now there is nothing wrong with public defenders, but if I am on trial for murder, I would need to bring out the big guns. So, it got me thinking about which TV lawyers I would want defending me if I was on trial for murder.

So tonight I am going to break it down for you all in two separate categories. The first list is the individual I would want defending me if I was innocent. The second, and most important list, is the individual I would want defending me if I was guilty. There is a big difference between the lawyer you want defending you if you are guilty and the one you want if you are innocent, so I will lay those out for you.

Innocent List:

If you are heading into a murder trial and you are innocent, then you need someone who is compassionate and trustworthy. You need that person to believe you and fight for you, not because it is their duty, but because they truly believe that you are innocent. It doesn't hurt either when they go out of their way to find the person who is actually guilty.

5. Sarah "Mac" MacKenzie (Catherine Bell)--JAG: Not only is she an amazing lawyer who fights for her clients, but it doesn't hurt for the jury to look at someone who is easy on the eyes. She is soft and trustworthy and she also does some investigating on her own, which always helps.
4. Victor Sifuentes (Jimmy Smits)--L.A. Law: Another one that the jury will see as easy on the eyes, but a hard nose lawyer that provides some of the most impassioned closing arguments ever given on TV. The reason he would defend me if I was innocent is because he is one of the few TV lawyers that has a conscience which is helpful when you are innocent.
3. Shirley Schmidt (Candice Bergen)--Boston Legal: If I am on trial for murder, I want someone that has years of experience and a few favors that they can call in. Shirley is one of the most respected lawyers and that would be very helpful. She is also very good at defending innocent people because she likes to believe them and it makes her work harder.
2. Perry Mason (Raymond Burr)--Perry Mason: The king of all TV lawyers. Mason always defending innocent people and lucky for me, he always found the real killer.
1. Jimmy "The Grunt" Berluti (Michael Badalucco)--The Practice: An odd choice here, but let me tell you about The Grunt. Jimmy is always the underdog in every case he goes into. He is seen as incompetent and beneath most other lawyers. That is exactly the guy I want defending me for murder. I want someone that has something to prove and that knows they can't lose, not only for my good, but for their own good as well. I want the little guy fighting for me. Jimmy also always believed his clients and liked helping out those who were truly innocent.

Guilty List:

If you are guilty of murder, you need a lawyer that doesn't give two shits about you and could care less if you go to jail for life. You need a lawyer who isn't compassionate, but a lawyer that believes every person deserves a fair trail and a lawyer that will fight for you even though they know you are guilty. These are a different breed. Truth be told, there aren't many of these characters out there, so the shows to choose from are few and far between.

5. Denny Crane (Willam Shatner)--Boston Legal: Denny would be number one if he didn't suffer from mad cows disease. First of all, Denny has never lost a case, or at least that is what he says. Secondly, he is Denny Crane man, just ask him. Denny just wants to win. The facts don't matter, he may not even learn my name, but what do I care, I just want to get set free.
4. Bobby Donnell (Dylan McDermott)--The Practice: Many might think that Bobby is number one. There is no doubt that Bobby gave the best closings in TV history and he always the person you want to do your closing. Bobby would fight for the guilty, but the thing that keeps him down on my list is that he always has a crisis of consciousness. I really don't need that in a murder trial. Bobby usually wins, so he will do.
3. Jack McCoy (Sam Waterston)--Law & Order: Okay, I know that he usually puts people in jail, but if he would ever switch sides, I would hire him in a heartbeat. The man does anything and everything he can to win and I could use that. It never bothers him to break the law to serve the law, and that is what I would need if I was guilty for murder.
2. Alan Shore (James Spader)--Boston Legal: If I was on trial for murder, I would need a lawyer that doesn't care that I am on trial for murder, all they care about it winning and serving the law. That is what Alan does. It also doesn't hurt that is always able to "pull a rabbit out of his hat." I mean that man got Al Sharpton to come in and speak for one of his clients. Alan simply wins and does it with great passion. If you are guilty, you need a lawyer that defends you as if you were innocent and Alan Shore does that.
1. Eugene Young (Steve Harris)--The Practice: One word and one letter provide the reason for Eugene being number one: "Plan B." Eugene was the king of Plan B and never worried about using it. For those of you that don't know, Plan B is where you are defending someone that is pretty much going to lose, so you put up a friendly witness and you accuse them of committing the crime, thus establishing reasonable doubt. Plan B always works and Eugene is the best. Eugene also never has a crisis of conscience during a trial, though he might afterwards, but that is not my problem. He also never has a problem getting a guilty person off on a technicality, so hey go for it. Eugene Young is the perfect defense lawyer because he fights for the law, not the person. You don't want a lawyer that cares about you if you are guilty, you want one that cares about winning and serving the law.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

This is just what I needed

Recently, I have had a difficult time coming up with stuff to blog about and, as most of you know, I have been gone for quite some time. I am officially back now and you can expect that I will be posting daily again.

What I needed was something to get me completely pissed off and motivate me to post again. That happened today thanks to an article in the Charleston Daily Mail. The title itself was enough to make my blood boil. The title read: "Patrick White's No. 5 may not qualify for retirement." My first thought was that it was a keep-over article from April Fools, but clearly it was not. It never even crossed my mind that this was even possible.

Now I know that Major Harris doesn't have his number retired because of the stupid rules that WVU has come up with to retire jerseys. That is completely ridiculous, but Pat White is even crazier. Let me lay out a few stats to back up my case:
  • Starting record of 34-8 is unmatched by any quarterback in WVU history and is sixth in NCAA history.
  • Is the only quarterback in FBS history to win four bowl games as a starter.
  • One of only eight players in NCAA history to rush for 200 and pass for 200 in a game.
  • Has three of the top seven highest rushing games in WVU history
  • Highest single-game rushing total by a quarterback in Big East history
  • Second in career passing efficiency at WVU
  • Second most in WVU history in passing touchdowns
  • First in NCAA career quarterback rushing list in yardage
  • First in total offensive yards in a career in WVU history
  • One of five players in NCAA history to rush for 1,000 and pass for 1,000 in a season
I could go on and on, but I think that is enough to make my point. Pat White will undoubtedly be in the College Football Hall of Fame and most likely will be a first day pick in this weekend's NFL Draft. But apparently that isn't good enough for WVU. The school has set crazy criteria for a jersey to be retired:
  • The athlete must have earned an undergraduate degree from WVU (this is an outdated criteria, but Pat met this one, much to every WVU fan's enjoyment)
  • The athlete must have played the maximum number of years of athletic eligibility as set forth by the NCAA (this is dumber than the first one, who gives a shit if someone player four years, if the three that they play are great...either way, Pat met this as well)
  • The athlete was a consensus All-American or a two-year first team All-American as chosen by an accepted or primary organization or the most valuable player of a national championship team (absolutely absurd and should be removed all together...not many players in college football history can meet this criteria, not to mention WVU players)
  • The athlete was a individual held in high standard while on campus and has maintained a role as a solid citizen in the community (fine...and this one looks like it was written for Pat White specifically)
I like the idea of setting high standards. I am not suggesting that we retire Pacman's jersey, but we aren't talking about Pacman, we aren't even talking about Steve Slaton (which I could if I wasn't so mad about Pat). Anyway, WVU just needs to get this guy's name up on the stadium. Hell, give up on the whole retiring numbers thing and just honor the players. But if they are going to keep this idea of retiring the numbers of the best WVU athletes, then this is an easy one.

Pat White provided WVU fans with four of the greatest years of WVU football that we could have ever asked for. Let's just put it this way, without Pat White, I am quite sure that we all wouldn't have had as much fun, excitement and enjoyment over the last four years. If any of you get the chance, tell WVU to get rid of this ridiculous criteria and cement Pat White as the greatest WVU football player ever.

Friday, April 3, 2009

It Should Be About the Fans

You know what, I don't give two shits about Jay Cutler and his crying about being traded. It never bothered me at all. I like Cutler as a quarterback and I was even kind of hoping that he might get traded to the Redskins, but that didn't work out and I will give 100% of my support to Jason Campbell. Cutler probably makes the Bears a little better, and I think that Denver got the better of the deal, with getting a first and third round pick this year and a first next year, not to mention Kyle Orton, who isn't a bad quarterback.

But here is my beef. In making this deal, the teams didn't think about the fans. Sure the teams' fans may be happy, but the true NFL fans. You know, the fantasy football players. This deal kills Cutler's value for fantasy next year. Quick, name a wide receiver for the Bears. I said quick, don't look it up. Cutler was a Top Five fantasy quarterback. Don't scream and shout, I said Top Five fantasy quarterback, I don't care about where he ranks in real life.

Say Cutler had been traded to the Redskins. He would have Santana Moss, Randle El, Cooley, and two really good young receiver in Kelly and Thomas. Cutler would have dropped off a little because of Portis, but Cutler would have only added to the value of Portis, Moss, and Randle El. Maybe he makes the Bears receivers a little better, and I am still waiting for you to name one, but they were so far down to begin with that it would only bring them up to middle of the road value.

The trade does help Orton's value a little bit, but he really doesn't have big fantasy potential. Orton is a get it done type of quarterback and the stats may be there, they may not. I think his value does increase, because of the system that he will be in. I am a little concerned about Brandon Marshall and Eddie Royal, but I think that the thought that there value will drop actually makes them pretty good value. In the end, even I think that the Broncos won the real life trade and fantasy trade.

Fantasy football is a $1 billion dollar business and teams need to begin to realize that the moves that they make affect that business. It is hard enough to field a good team in a deep league because there are so much position sharing and middle of the road guys that it is getting harder and harder to field a solid team. That, of course, is what makes fantasy football so much fun, but still they need to quit making it even harder. Like it or not, the NFL's popularity is tied heavily to fantasy football. It is not a big surprise that the NFL started gaining in popularity and fantasy football began gaining popularity.